Will "self-love" ever exist for me?

You have a very low-self esteem. Instead of judging your self. Rely in better instances of meeting positive people. Also the environment that you live or a situation close to you could affect yourself. Don't focus on yourself. Explore what do you really like to do and enjoy. Believe me beauty It's just a concept not a value. If you don't have someone special to trust your feeling, go a visit a Medical doctor that teach in the university, I'm more than sure they would help you. Take Care :)